5.21.2006

recovery has been slow.

actually, i don't know whether there is a point in going through recovery at all; my unconscious may have finally decided this is what i want to do - and that there may be no point attempting therapy anymore.

yesterday i was saved by
The Trick Is to Keep Breathing: A Novel by Janice Galloway
and i learnt that

It's OK to have Bad Days.
Persistance is the Only Thing That Works.
I will Take Advice and Try Harder.

The More Something Hurts, The More it Can Teach Me.
All in its Own Good Time Means Slowly.
Everything Worth Having is Hard as Nails.

she said 'the trick is to keep breathing, make out it's not unnatural at all. They say it comes with practice.'

so i went out and got a book about someone getting diagnosed with cancer, another involving a doomed aircraft and a 101 of occupations in banking. i hope they help.

recovery is still slow.
i keep forgetting to breathe.

19:57 / and blackened tears fell with mine //

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