sunclouds.blogspot

6.30.2005

i've been led to think a lot lately.
i haven't had the time and spirit since national service came along and engulfed me into the do-not-think-but-feel-free-to-obey sector of the economy.

i have come to realise blogging serves minimally as a source of exhibitionism (lest you mention the eversofamous xiaxue who now has millions of newsclippings expounding on her bimbotic style) or even a space for angry bursts of adjectives, but a holding area for recollection and randomisation, to protect ourselves from those terribly globalised and commercialised trains of thought. they aren't wrong, mind you. i just think such a world would require us to be unique.

it rained yesterday -
we ended up wet on the parade ground. duh.

beware what you wish for.

we had prayed earlier for dark clouds and the cat 1 sirens (which involves lightning) to shield us from the scorching sun which was burning away my retina. we were bestowed the odd half-rain/half-sun thing with smoky condensation perpetuating from the concrete. and obviously, the rehearsal went on as per normal.

it was during that 2 hours of daydreaming i realised that rain excited me. not "exciting" in the form of making me go oohlala or to start breakdancing on the spot, but the memories had been strong enough to carry on: staying after hours in the mph to produce a first solo performance that would be at least presentable, the busride after the first official alumni concert, dashing home with mom from the market with a bag of roast pork under my arm, and the incessant complaining i went through yesterday.

for someone who nearly drowned at age 4, i like downpours too much for my own good.

heck, even my favourite x-men character used to be storm (now it's nightcrawler).

i should call myself rain.

rain sng yunfei.
and if i converted back to my hanyupinyin name i would be rain sun. hurhur.

16:51 / and blackened tears fell with mine //

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